Sunday, August 05, 2007 - Googlenopery...

Sunday, August 05, 2007
Googlenopery...
I enjoy the Washington Post. I get it delivered to my house every day of the week, every week of the year, and (if I'm lucky) I take the opportunity each day to peruse the pages, read what I like and recycle it when I'm finished. Sunday is particularly good because so many more things come with the Sunday edition. Today I was blessed to receive a full catalog from Ikea (I'm gonna bring it over for you Erik - you need it far more than I ever could) among the traditional tidbits I enjoy. Regardless, I'm writing not about the fabulous Ikea catalog, but rather reposting the column I generally find the most amusing "Below The Beltway" by Gene Weingarten. Always funny and witty, and often re-post worthy. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did
Nope, Yup, Nope, YupAn ontological treatise on flipping coinageBy Gene WeingartenSunday, August 5, 2007; W40
Three months ago in this space, a versatile new word was born. A "googlenope" was defined as a phrase that returns no hits when entered between quotation marks into the Google search engine. Until that day, the word "googlenope" was itself a googlenope. Today, it draws more than 1,000 hits, and the number is growing. The phenomenon has spread to Europe. Indeed, without my knowledge, someone started a Web site, googlenope.com, which is devoted to the art and science of what we shall henceforth call . . . googlenopery.
We at Googlenope International headquarters could not be more proud. But semantic pioneers do not get where they are by resting on their laurels. Today, we further plumb the field by finding new googlenopes, and pairing them with googleyups, phrases that ought to be googlenopes, but aren't.
As always, every time a new googlenope is created and published, it ceases to be a googlenope. In this manner, we shall slowly but steadily create a world where nothing has been left unsaid.
Googlenope: I'd like a middle seat
Googleyup: I'd like to die in a plane crash
Googlenope: world's funniest proofreader
Googleyup: world's funniest mortician
Googlenope: accidentally glued my foot to my dog
Googleyup: accidentally glued my dog to the floor
Googlenope: squalor of the French Riviera
Googleyup: splendor of Hoboken, N.J.
Googlenope: armpit hair topiary
Googleyup: nose hair topiary
Googlenope: 14-karat gold spork
Googleyup: 14-karat gold silly putty egg
Googlenope: died in a freak pogo stick accident
Googleyup: died in a freak mushy pea accident
Googlenope: turkey-chip cookie
Googleyup: chicken-chip cookie
Googlenope: sensitive middle linebacker
Googleyup: sensitive mass murderer
Googlenope: finest Cajun food in New Hampshire
Googleyup: finest Cajun food in the Netherlands
Googlenope: God is a bad dancer
Googleyup: God is a bad first date
Googlenope: All philosophers are gasbags
Googleyup: The Ontological Basis of Plotinus' Criticism of Aristotle's Theory of Categories
Googlenope: the kiwi and sausage diet
Googleyup: the ice cream and prune diet
Googlenope: worshipped for his knock-knock jokes
Googleyup: worshipped for his penmanship
Googlenope: give Hillary a noogie
Googleyup: give Jesus a noogie
Googlenope: Amish shotgun enthusiast
Googleyup: kickboxing Jewish Republican
Googlenope: the most delicious pus ever
Googleyup: the most delicious vomit ever
Googlenope: a passion for orthodontia
Googleyup: a passion for toilet-seat collecting
Googlenope: the World Blimp Racing Championship
Googleyup: the World Snail Racing Championship
Googlenope: uncircumcised hamster
Googleyup: uncircumcised anchovy
Googlenope: My behind isn't large enough
Googleyup: Do I look fat in this muumuu?
Googlenope: Himmler loved humanity
Googleyup: Himmler loved a nice plate of salmon
Googlenope: gangsta clog dancing
Googleyup: gangsta accordion music
Googlenope: how to press your pants with a waffle iron
Googleyup: how to shave your legs with duct tape
Googlenope: googlenopery
Googleyup: de-googlenoping