Well, I suppose at this juncture, if you have been my friend, let's say - since March, you know full and well about Matty. He's not a boyfriend, or even a good friend, or even a friend of any sort really. He plays guitar (the bass for all intents and purposes of this blog) and has a really great stage character. He likes to entertain Shannon and I when we stand in his corner, and he is fun to talk to. He plays UNO while waiting for the show to start. So, my friends all know that I've been fully obsessed with this local band, Welbilt, since about March. They're songs speak to me, I absolutely go crazy if I can't see them play live (luckily they're local), and I really have a "thing" for Matty. Now, I have a "thing" for Matty, like I have a "thing" for Mark Hoppus. It's not that I wanna date the guy (clearly), or lust after him, or anything like that. He's just my favorite person in the band. (I do wanna throw myself at Mark Hoppus a little, but that's another story.) So, over the summer, Matty got engaged. His fiance is super cute and seems to be a very nice girl. I am completely thrilled for him, and for whatever reason it never occurred to me that this might result in him wanting to not spend his time in bars till 2 am 4 nights a week being the objects of much less mellow girls than myself. Thus, about a month ago it came to pass that Matty would leave the band and move on to other things (probably ones that are far better for his pending nuptuals and relationship overall). I heard about this second hand because I had been too busy to see the band when this all came about.
Devastated as I was, I attempted to come to terms with it and accept it as part of life. I bucked up on Thursday, called a friend or two, and headed out to TT's to see the band, not knowing whether or not Matty would be present. I figured, better to go ahead and see what has happend. The band played, without Matty, but instead with a new bass player. He's not Matty. He's not Matty. He's NOT Matty. He's old (meaning probably like my age), he's married (this means absolutely nothing, but nobody else in the band is), he's not attractive (Matty is), and he thinks he's a rock-star (most likely at the coaxing of other band members, but he should not attempt to rock-out as such - even Matty knew better than that and he IS a rockstar). So, they sounded just fine. On a couple of occasions I nearly forgot that things were different as I was trying to focus solely on Buddy and Nate to divert any attention from the right side of the stage. As long as I didn't look in Matty's direction, he would always be there. But alas, I looked for Matty, and what I got was not, in the slightest bit, comparable. Needless to say, the hilight of my night was when Nate finally took off that stupid bandana and hat he's been wearing for a few months now and let his sweaty head out. His hair was a bit funky - as if he'd had a mohawk at some point that was dyed blonde (this wouldn't strike me as all that odd, but it could explain why he's been wearing the hat and bandana). Nate is a cute boy and frankly I've been despising whatever look it is he's been trying to project since the summer has ended. I like the guy without a hat, sweaty as usual, where I can see his face. Back to my problems with the band.
So, I had been trying to plan a trip to Winchester to see the band play Sweet Caroline's the day before my birthday, and then finish out the weekend with my birthday celebration at TT's with the band. This entire plan has been scrapped now. I am so completely put-out by the loss of Matty that I can't come to terms with the new "look" of the band and frankly I believe it will completely ruin whatever birthday festivities I might have had planned.
I'm 100% positive that this all sounds very silly, frivolous and childish, but I can't help it. I've been boohooing over Matty since the day I heard he was leaving and now that I've seen the replacement my grieving will only continue. I was boohooing about Matty before I went out, and I'll be boohooing about him for a long time to come.