The changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience...not from our mental resolution to try a new form of life.
Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
Today's quote in my little quote widget thingy was yet again filled with words of wisdom very applicable to my current situation. "Changes must come from the inability to live otherwise..." This is so very true. No matter what, most people are at least partially resistant to change, and for many people it takes a real problem to initiate any sort of real change. I've found that while I'm not adverse to change, it's still a difficult thing to do and I really have to gear myself up for it. We've had alot of change at my house over the past year. Most of the changes have been for the better, and we've adapted and enjoyed the additions to our life.
Unfortunately, some of the changes begot changes in our financial status and that situation needs to be resolved pronto.... thus necessitating further changes. At this juncture it is impossible for us to continue to live in our current situation without making some major changes. One change is to find new jobs. Brad has applied to about a bazillion jobs and since the job market is so exceptionally crappy thanks to the glut of unemployed, but very skilled workers, has yet to actually get so much as an interview. With that being said, thankfully he has not joined the ranks of the unemployed and it is pretty certain that he will not land in that boat. The same can be said for me (minus the part where jobs have been applied for). I have applied for absolutely no jobs. I have two jobs as it is, and the flexibility that my primary job affords me is one that I don't want to give up. The flexibility allows me to have the other job (which is the job I really love), while paying the bills (for the most part). Unfortunately my two jobs still does not make up for the budget deficit we're currently facing. Brad is now looking for a second job as well, and I hope and pray that will happen and our financial issues will be resolved.
Yesterday in my daily job hunt (which is generally for Brad), I came across a job that I thought would be better suited for me. It's not a perfect fit, but perhaps a better fit than where I am. I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw my hat in to the ring for a position with this organization, but I need to do some major work on my resume (which hasn't been updated for approximately 2 years). In all honestly I'd just like for things to fall in to place without either of us having to take a job we don't want (just for the sake of the paycheck). It would be great if one of the jobs Brad has applied for would come to fruition. It would be great if a local AT job opened up and I was able to take it (thus saving us the cost of summer child care and plunging me back in to the field I love and went to school for 7 frickin' years to do).
All in all I guess what it boils down to is that I am hoping and praying for change. Major, life altering change. Change that will free us from the terror that is the child care bill, and the stress of going to a job every day that is less than enjoyable.